New month, same story

I am officially discouraged. Its mid-November and I am still jobless and becoming a bit hopeless. Need to check on my unemployment status because I think it vanishes in January and then I guess I start working fast-food or something. Sigh. I have been substitute teaching ( which I secretly love) but it doesn't pay much and it's not steady work. I work about 2 days a week and I do turn down some ...PE, agriculture, etc. I apply for job after job after job with rarely an answer. There is very little in my field here in the fields. That is the crappy part of being a pastor's wife (one of many). He has a little rural church that pays very little and is near very little. I think we can squeeze by the spring and hope for a teaching job in 2011/2012 ( I have 2 new licenses) but if nothing happens (and given the economy, state government and our location that is very possible) we're gonna have to look elsewhere. And the pastor market isn't good either!
Argh!
OK end on a good note...end on a good note....hmmmmmm
I've taken up running and the stress-reducing thing they talk about isn't just a lie that exercising-eating-right-type-skinny-people say. I would be in a much worse state without my new running hobby. Don't think I'm talking marathons here now. I am a late thirties over 200 lbs former asthmatic who has never ever been an athlete, runner, or frankly active person. After almost 9 weeks I run about 2 miles 3 days a week. The goal is a 5K where everyone wears Jingle Bells on their shoes as they run through Indy. Hubby wants to run a Half marathon before he turns 40. I'm gonna try to run in our local town's 5K next spring and not embarrass myself.
geez why are you still reading this its such a downer...

blogger

always wants me to change my templtae, why is that. I'm just checking in today to say that nothing much has changed. Still job hunting, subbing
Flash lost his first tooth
Firecracker is herself. Needs a haircut but Daddy isn't for it.

its late

but I'm typing...
a few more minutes before bed to say...
First Grade is going well for Flash, he loved PE and tomorrow he'll have Art.
Firecracker had a potty adventure today...no production but lots of play.
The town festival is over so we get Hubby back in the evenings...
no, no, of course we don't
he had a funeral today with the graveside an hour away
and meetings almost every night this week.
Soccer starts this Wednesday with a game on Saturday morning!
and my job hunt continues...and continues
Tomorrows challenges:
the gym, vaccuuming, and getting together things for a Goodwill run
...and laundry of course.
AND an application for a stretch job
and start and application for a grad certificate
Too much, right?

Status Quo

I have applied to a zillion jobs and school starts in 3 days and I guess I'm not working in a school this year...except maybe as a sub. Everyone is cutting back on school librarians, public librarians and I may just have to find some other kind of employment.
It stinks...
thats the G rated version of that statement.
Other than the constant job hunting cloud that follows me a around... my summer has been good. I was home with the kids and we played on the slip n slide and went to the park and tried to keep Cosy from destroying everything in sight.
Cosy need a new code name...she is lovely but a pistol. I'm thinking about Firecracker .

Starting on Thursdayn they'll be back at school and daycare and I'll rediscover the floor in our house and complete some projects and search for a job, search for a job, search for a job.

Interview!

Hooray!
I have an interview, with that same Library, next Monday...
Would be an interesting job, not my usual thing though.
Would require me to get a CDL so I can drive the Bookmobile!
Cool huh!?

Not sure I'm right for this
but best foot forward
and a foot in the door
and pretty cool if I do get it.

By the way, I'm typing on my new laptop... an early birthday present from my Dad.
Must send him a card tomorrow!

saga continues

Reading over my last post is funny. Sorry its been so long.
Suit pants have been hemmed and not used. I've had no interviews at all.
I really thought I was perfect for a particular job and when I didn't hear anything from them for a few weeks I called and was told that they'd had interviews the previous week. I was so shocked I asked if they would double check that they'd recieved my application. They had. They just didn't interview me. Wow. A friend who used to work for them thinks they may have had an internal candidate. So I keep applying... and next week I can apply for unemployment because the school year is over.

Yup...the kids were finished last Friday and Teacher Day is tomorrow.
and tomorrow I have to hand in this lovely little computer.
On the brink of unemployment and I am seriously considering buying a netbook.
Yikes.

when we last saw our hero

I just bought a suit!
a tan one (pants)with an aqua blouse...nothing fancy and rather cheap I think.
I only have had one suit and I bought that one about ten years ago...or more.
Doesn't fit, out of date, etc, etc.
I bought the NEW suit at Sears which looks like its going out of business.
Now I understand why my email is full of emails from clothing store.
They are hurting. On a whim I checked out the clearance area and found this suit.
Now I need them to call about and interview
OK after I get the pants hemmed.
I'm about 5'2''
Pants are apparently for someone 5'8''
But they can't have my suit...cuz' its mine!
I'm gonna wear the blouse to church tomorrow.

Spring Break

It is the last night of spring break and its been quite a week I guess.
We didn't "go" anywhere, which is a pity, but Hubby had things for work and usually we'd just go visit family anyhow. I'd like for us to take a small vacation but this wasn't the week for it really. So we...
went to Chuckie Cheese
had two playdate afternoons
invented a new game
watched far too much TV
made chocolate eggs at church
went to the children's museum
saw the movie How to train Your Dragon

a nice week
the house is a pit
and we're all ready to go back to school

On Thursday an interesting job popped up...so I sent my application yesterday.
Here's the thing though,
My next job will almost definitely have terrible hours
You can't beat school hours for a family, especially a pastor's family.
So there will be a lot more daycare/babysitters around here if I get one of these jobs...
I am trying to look at it as if God is choosing
I'll put my best foot forward and if I get the job great,
but if I don't then maybe there's something else out there for me
...including unemployment and stay-at-home-momhood.
Yikes

and yes I am having a relatively good day

the Update post

*I went to a very depressing meeting this week, for newer teachers who've been RIF'd.
It doesn't look like they'll be calling me back anytime soon (at least not in the time frame I'm hoping to remain in this state.) I discovered that I am higher up on the call-back list than I thought, which is something I guess.
The vote comes on April 14th and they're Riffing 150 teachers.
Wow.
*I HAVE applied for the 2 most appropriate jobs in the area. And I intend to have another application sent this week. All you can do is all you can do.
*Helped to pack up our friends yesterday. It was less sad than I thought for the kids and I was the only one that teared up.
* Its Spring Break here so we're doing some daytrips and fun things like going to the movies, Chuckie Cheese with a friend, the Children's Museum. Should be fun. Hubby's week looks like it will be punctuated with a funeral, sadly.
* Diet has been shot to...well somewhere. Enjoying too many sweets and making my own bread. Hopefully this week will be better exercise and food-wise. Just need to shake myself up a bit.

Friday5: Spring Cleaning

I'm feelin' down ladies and gentlemen so here goes;

1. Is there a part of your spiritual life that is dry and dusty at the moment, something that could do with a good spring clean?
Yes...all of it. I am questioning the whole darn thing. Prayer is superficial, church is anemic.

2. Spiritual disciplines- life-giving/ terrifying: discuss
Slight...some minor devotion reading. Prayers with kids or during the school's "moment of silence" Thats it.

3. Share a practice that keeps you spiritually alive that you think others might benefit from...
Hmmmm. Nope, you'd better share with me. I got nuthin'


4.Alone or together, how do you pray best?
ALONE. Just need some impetus.

5.If your spiritual life were to burgeon and bloom into a spring flower what would it be and why?
I've been thinking about gladiolas recently (Flash and I are reading The Enormous Egg) so for no other reason,,,gladiolas.

RIF'd

Yup.
Reduction in Force.
Laid off.
sigh

I am tired of looking for a job here.
There just aren't a lot of jobs in my field out here in the fields.
Know what I mean?

Discouraged at "following" Hubby.
and looking for jobs where he is.
Discouraged but resigned...we're not done here yet.

and to top it off, dear firends who live about 2 hours away
have a new call on the other side of the country.
Good for them...but sad for us.

Cra**y week.

Big Meeting

Tomorrow they convene the big school board meeting
...and they'll probably decide about my job.
Most of the other librarians (media specialists) will be there.
Strength in numbers.
But I don't want to go,
and I have lots of good excuses.
I was never planning to go,
Hubby has a meeting and I am staying with the kids.
They may postpone because of weather,
but decisions can't be put off forever
and my particular presence is unimportant.
Seeing me cry or (hopefully) whisper "whew!" won't change anyone's mind.

So a bit of prayer would be nice
and...
would you go?

Friday5: the gloomies

Its February, its cold and gloomy. Christmas is over and spring is at least 6 weeks away (per Groundhog report) So...what to do?
1. Exercise, what do you do if you can't face getting out into the cold and damp?
I have joined Curves. Its a women's only 30 minutes workout place and kinda fun.
But if I can't get out I might turn up the radio and dance!

2. Food; time to comfort eat, or time to prepare your body for the coming spring/summer?
Uh, hmmmm. I have a standing rule that we bake cookies on snowdays. Not healthy or anything but I tend to cook and enjoy my cooking during this time of the year. I am trying to be healthy, but the cookie tradition will be continued!

3. Brainpower; do you like me need to stave off depression, if so how do you do it?
Some computer time, a book or two, games with the kids, trying to tidy and cook. I get gloomy at times but am too busy and crazy to dwell at this point which is good, since this month is shaping up to be pretty depressing.

4. How about a story that lifts your spirits, is there a book or film that you return to to stave off the gloom?
I have several movies I watch over and over Ocean's 11, Top Hat, the Incredibles and Groundhogs Day are at the top of the list. The book is American Pie: A slice of Life along America's backroads. It's a true story about a woman's pie road-trip.

5. Looking forward, do you have a favourite spring flower/ is there something that says spring is here more than anything else?Bonus; post a poem/ piece of music that points to the coming spring......
When the Rob-rob-robin comes bob-bob-bobbin' along....?
The first Crocus?
T-ball practice?

Gaining perspective

" I cried because I had no shoes..."

I haven't gotten as much done on the possible RIF as I'd like.
Haven't even written my congress people.
I've checked the state jobsite.
I called about a replacement license (can't find mine anywhere).
Registered for CPR/AED training refresher so I can keep up my substitute teacher license.
Little depressed about the whole thing.

"...And then I met a man who had no feet..."

Saw an acquaintence today...haven't seen her in a while.
Her husband left her and their two girls
and she's about to lose her house,
and she's on public assistance.
Has a good job at least...
yikes.

and I can't even watch the Haiti coverage.
Lord, Lord, Lord.

Planes Trains and Cars Friday5

1. What was the mode of transit for your last trip?
Car or actually mini-van. I really like our mini-van. We call it Hank the Tank.

2) Have you ever traveled by train?
Sorta. I grew up near Philly so you could travel to DC and NYC very easily by train. Took the train to Boston once. Used to commute to grad school in Philly from the burbs regularly. Would LOVE to take a train vacation but I think the kids need to be a better age for it. Flash is almost right, Cosy is way too young and both of them need a lot of exercise these days.

3) Do you live in a place with public transit, and if so, do you use it?
NOPE. No public transportation out here in the cornfields. As mentioned above, I have used Public Transportation when it went where I needed to go.

4) What's the most unusual vehicle in which you've ever traveled?
Hmmm. Boat? My Dad has always had a boat. Still does. Named Ariel and he lives a half mile from her on the Chesapeake. I rode on a cable car when I visited San Fransisco too. Oh and I've never ridden a horse. Every few years I name that as my New Year's resolution...to ride a horse. Not this year though.

5) What's the next trip you're planning to take?
Next week we are FLYING to Georgia for my Brother in law's wedding. Hubby is officiating. I am not looking forward to the flying part. I don't mind flying at all, I mind airports, airlines and the overall hassle. I'd almost rather drive, but time will not allow it.

Friday5: IF

1. If you were a color, what would you be? a nice sky blue I think or lavender

2. If you were a flower (or plant), what would you be? I am completely terrible with plants and if I was a plant I imagine Mother Nature would take her revenge for all the plants I've neglected...Probably better choose something wild...like wild raspberry bushes.

3. If you were an animal, what kind would you be? Hmmmm.

4. If you were a shoe, what type would you be? a Comfy pair of sandals. Show off those cute toes!

5. If you were a typeface, which font would you be? Comic Sans? Its what I use most.

Bonus: If you are in a bookstore or library take a look at My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss. Published post-humously and illustrated by someone else, but very very good and fits perfectly.

RIF

Reduction in Force.
Our state is cutting 300 mil in education
my school district's share is 4.5 mil
and among the proposals is cutting:
Specials: art, music, PE and Library
across the district...
The head of the media specialists thinks its dire...
she actually ended an email with "its been lovely working with all of you"

I cried.
I'd had a lovely evening yesterday and a nice morning with the kids and walked into school happy and within a half hour I was crying.
Its a job I know but I like this job.
and we are struggling here a bit.

Part of me thinks we should start looking elsewhere, but Hubby doesn't think we're done here yet. Sigh.

Important to say that this isn't written in stone and its possible that something else will happen...but I will start pulling together my paperwork over the weekend.

Dreamy Friday5

I didn't have many answers for this Friday5...hmmmmm.

1. Do you tend to daydream?
No...not recently, when my mind wanders it tends to go towards my to do list.

2. Do you usually remember your night dreams? Do you find them symbolic and meaningful or just quirky?
I do not remember them, most of the time.

3. Have you ever had a life changing dream which you'll never forget?
No. I haven't.

4. Share a long term dream for one or more aspects of your life and work.
Long Term dream...
Huh,I think I am in-between here. I've thought about more schooling or career change. Writing a book... Location change down the road would be nice too. Mostly, I'd like to do what I do in a great location that isn't too far away from family. That's a dream.
I'm a little more grounded these days...wanting an hour to myself, a clean organized home and a date with my Hubby sometime soon.

5. Share a dream for 2010....How can we support you in prayer on both the short and long term dreams?
A safe happy and healthy family.



Bonus: a poem, song, artwork, etc. that deals with dreams in general or one of your dreams.

HeartlessGrouch

What a grouch I am
How heartless and ungrateful
Hubby called and said he was visiting someone at the hospital in the late afternoon, wouldn't be able to pick up the kids and didn't know when he'd be home. Wouldn't tell me much but I gathered that the person may not leave the hospital.
And I am a terrible person.
because my next five minutes were
1. grumpy about another night of doing everything myself and probably ruined plans for the weekend.
2. self-loathing that I have that much grouch in me when someone's loved one is dying.

Flash's fashion sense

We have a family wedding at the end of the month.
Hubby's mom found a tuxedo with tails for Flash at a thrift store.
She tried to play it up for him.
Grandma: "And guess what you'll get to wear to the wedding?"
Flash: "I thought I'd be wearing a big black robe like Daddy's."

Part of me wants to look for one!

First Friday5 ina long long while

1. What will you gladly leave behind in 2009?
Um, I lost some weight in 2009. So 2009 can have it. Maybe 2010 can have more.

2. What is the biggest challenge of 2010 for you?
Being thankful for what I have...My big confession is always ingratitude and jealousy. I have a job, a home, wonderful husband, children, family and friends. I have more than plenty in so many ways.

3. Is there anything that you simply need to hand to God and say "all will be well, for you are with me"? Of course! I worry about a lot of things and have few to talk to about those worries. I'm going to find a counselor this year...that is a good resolution I think.

4. If you could only achieve one thing in 2010 what would it be?
Only one thing? One thing.... survive, enjoy, even ...triumph! I would love to look back one year from now and be astonished at all the wonderful things that have happened. Come on optimism!

5. Post a picture, poem or song that sums up your prayer for the year ahead....
In my head I'm toying with...that song "I get Down, God lifts me up, I get down..."
Praying for God to lift us up!

Open House

I don't know why I worry, its always a great time!
I wasn't as well prepared as I'd like.
We cleaned and preprared almost everything this morning.
At some point you have to just bgive up and say "good enough!"
although theres a voice in my head that says "good enough is half done".
Nice folks from church, neighbors, friends and acquaintences.
It went longer than planned, in a good way
and some great good friends arrived early enough to help out! Yay them!
Flash had a ball, Cosy was charming, And Hubby and I held our own too.
Happy Happy New Year
and g'nite!