Yesterday on the Revgal blog they were talking about kids and worship...this was my comment:
Boy you've hit a sore spot with me... so here goes. I have an "energetic" 4 year old who is excited to go to church, play in the nursery (service plays on the PA in there) and eat snack after. He is the only child his age. Then we have a handful of 4th graders and 2 high schoolers.
Church is, in my opinion kid-unfriendly. We only have one service and is unlikely that we will ever have two. Church folk give off the vibe of "serious grown-up stuff". Stuffy hymns, not formal at all but, traditional, traditional traditional. They keep talking about bags, have a different nursery volunteer every week and have children's church from the children's sermon till end of worship. Communion is brought to them in their classroom. My child has been included from time to time, but their 4th grade activities are not suited to him.
In November I'm having a new baby and am seriously considering staying in the nursery with the two of them! And yes...I'm the pastor's wife. SIGH.
Over last summer we attended a church in another state where I could drop him off in a class that would sing church songs and draw pictures with other kids his age while I enjoyed church with the grown-ups.
I wish we could do things that way but I fear lack of children and church support means nothing will ever change. And all those little old lady volunteers will be so excited to care for the baby and I'll get to wrestle my boy in the pews. Some Sunday. There are lots of Sundays where I'd rather go to another church...and if I was a visitor...
If you have some suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Hubby knows of the problems, but there is a lot of entrenched opposition, and I suspect, sentiment that our child should be more well-behaved.
2 comments:
Clearly I am in the minority. GRRRR.
Oh, Hip One. Every church (OK, "nearly every church") is inherently unfriendly to kids, whether they're 4 or 14. Even in a "casual" church, adults look at youth as "others".
If you want to know what I've found out, try this: Take Flash into service. He'll act up, but if Hubby can work over the occasional din, the people will enjoy his presence. I've been surprise at how welcoming people have been to a "disruptive" boy, dosed out in moderation.
You can't change the facts. You can't change that you have a boy. You can't change that you have a baby coming. You can't change that they don't really "fit" into the program.
So do what you have to do, and don't feel bad about it! - Jason
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