Two things:
The woman who killed her pastor husband is on trial this week.
and
Theres an article in Time magazine
with horror stories and resources for Pastors' wives including a club!
They have a conference and mentors.
Why have I not heard about this group before?
Its about a month from graduation...and I'm looking for support, I guess.
Most of the time I'm excited about the next phase of the journey.
But these two things "hit" today...so I'm thinking.
I'm lucky I have this place.
and I have friends and family
and God has a plan.
2 comments:
I can only speak of the spouse perspective through the expressed views of my spouse..me being the Pastor...
Seems to me the most important thing for clergy family is to be yourselves. The Church will try to hold you to a higher standard and that can add unrealistic pressure. Be yourself. Let your child(ren) be themselves, and the community will learn that clergy families are human families. It will help the church community learn to be authentic as well. I mean, of course, that we live Christian lives of love and charity, but also that its ok to be a normal woman, kid, and man as well.
Don't get sucked into thinking you have to lead Christian formation for kids, unless you love to do that. Don't host parties for the parish, unless you love to do that (I often take folks out to a restaurant for dinner, 'cuz as the wife I'd be the one cooking and I'm too tired). Don't chair the altar guild unless you like to do that. Keep a low profile. Watch the parish, be another pair of eyes for your husband...who's missing, who's saying what... people will say things in front of my husband that they'd never say in front of me... Join the MOMs group if you want too...or start one... Find ways to live into the parish that suit who you are...and don't do more than you want too, no matter if they "expect" it or not....
And find a support group of clergy spouses or start one...it can be a real blessing...and of course we will always listen in the blog cyber space way.... :-)
Mompriest...thank you so much!
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