Flash and I were alone together for the weekend as Hubby went to a weekend conference. Flash and I built things at the hardware store, watched the Cars movie, played at the playground, generally had a fantastic weekend. No laundry, no dishes, toys everywhere and in bed by 9:30. Woohoo!
Hubby's conference was held not too far from a church that seems to be interested in us, so he took the opportunity to drive through. Said it reminded him of where he grew up...oh dear. He called at one point and told me he was driving down main street and he saw this and that and " Oh theres' the church...it doesn't seem to have any parking...and oh someone at the conference is from Thusnsuchtown and we talked about it and he said there a great pizza place up here we should try."
So, the question. The church has invited us for the weekend, Flash included. A church elder (and member of the PNC) has invited us to stay at their home, it would be more comfortable than the local hotel, and they have lots of room and toys because they have grandchildren. My mom has offered to take care of Flash for the weekend also, and I don't know what we should do. Should we bring him? Stay in a hotel or in a strange house? Hubby points out that theres no down time if we stay with them, but we really might be more comfortable in a home, plus there's the PNC thing. Its not until the end of the month. Any Advice?
5 comments:
Well, I really don't know you or Hubby or Flash at all, so this is what I would do. I would leave my child with my mom for the weekend, to remove his unpredictability from the equation. Then I'd weigh the house vs hotel, and the hurt feeling potential. With both my husband and I being incredibly introverted, we would have to go with the hotel, for the "down time" reason your Hubby brought up.
The other thing that would make me hesitate about staying in the house is that I wouldn't want to start a ministry in a new town where I already owe a favor to somebody. But I'm kinda strange that way; I'm not good at accepting help from others, especially from people I don't know well.
(BTW: Thanks for the welcome.)
I have a lot of experience interviewinng for pastor's positions...interviewing seems to be my calling this year :-)
I suggest you leave your son with your mom so that you and your husband can BOTH focus on the church community.
I also suggest you stay in a hotel/motel so that you have some down time to process what you are experiencing. Perhaps the kind family that invited you to stay at their home would be able to meet you for dinner one night instead?
And I agree with hedwyg, it can be a bit dicey staying in the home of a potential congregant...all that patriarch and matriarch whose-in-control-of the congregation and/or who really chooses the new pastor - might be issues at play.
I agree with mompriest. I would be very reluctant to stay with a church member while on an interview. And go without Flash. You'll be able to keep your eyes on what's around you rather than on him.
I'm going to go against the grain here and say you should bring Flash with you. The church is going to call your whole family, not just your husband. You need to know they support the whole family dynamic. No point in accepting a call only to find out that the church doesn't really want your husband to have a family. And definately go with the hotel. The family who offered to host you might be kind enough to bring over some toys to the hotel. The whole "host family" idea is a great way for the PNC to save money, but it's not a great way for you to process your feelings about the visit. Trust me, you'll need the downtime much more than the comforts of a home set up to accomodate children. Think of it this way: would you think of living with a family in the church once you were called there? No way!
Flash is staying with my Mom and we're staying at a hotel. Its really only one night.
Everyone was very understanding.
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